


Rally Goldfish

by Yadirocks



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-07-27 04:45:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7603942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yadirocks/pseuds/Yadirocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First there was the Rally Chicken, but...a Rally Goldfish? Jason can't tell if Brantley's idea is stupid or brilliant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shark Bait

He had seen a lot of odd pets in his lifetime that were known as "rally animals." Usually, one would randomly run on the field and everyone in the stadium would have the enjoyment of watching the grounds crew and security chase it down. They were more common than streakers, which Jason found disappointing, because he was pretty confident that running on a baseball field naked was definitely something he would do if he were a fan. The Cardinals had the Rally Squirrel, the Angels had the Rally Monkey, and even the Indians used to have the Rally Chicken.

Even though it was a common thing, Jason certainly wasn't prepared for what was about to occur. 

The day had started out normal enough. He had woken up, taken a shower, gotten dressed while lip syncing to Since You've Been Gone, and then turned on the TV in the living room to check the weather forecast. Once he saw the typical Cleveland prediction (sunny with a chance of a thunderstorm), he had gotten in his car and drove to Dunkin Donuts. By the time he had gotten to Progressive Field for morning warmup, he had spilled coffee on his jeans and had powdered sugar from his jelly donut all over his favorite shirt.

Of course Francisco took notice of this right away. "What is that white stuff on your shirt?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows as if to say 'if you know what I mean.' 

Jason rolled his eyes, throwing his car keys inside his locker. "It's sugar, perv," he said. "I thought you, of all people, would know that."

Francisco crossed his arms. Jason prepared for the sarcastic remark, but none came. He looked up to see Lindor frowning, staring past Kip with one eyebrow raised in confusion. "What?" Jason asked, turning around and following his friend's gaze. "Jesus," he murmured, probably mirroring Francisco's reaction.

"Uh...Brant, what you got there?" he asked as Michael heaved a large fish tank onto the table in the center of the clubhouse. The outfielder turned his head to face Jason and Francisco, wiping sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. "A fish tank," he answered nonchalantly before throwing a massive bag of aquarium rocks at Lindor and nearly causing the poor, unsuspecting shortstop to fall over. "Open that for me, Frankie, my hands are sorta full."

Francisco and Jason shared a look. This had to be another one of Michael's stupid ideas, like the time he thought putting pepper on hot sauce would be a great new invention. That one ended with a trip to the hospital and left Cookie unable to taste anything for a month.

As Lindor began ripping open the bag of rocks, Jason stared at Brantley as he set up the water filter. "Uh, Brant, maybe I wasn't clear with my question earlier. What I meant to ask was...why the heck do you have a fish tank in the clubhouse?" he tried once more. Francisco finally got the bag of rocks open, but tiny tan pebbles began falling from the plastic wrap and onto the carpet. "Kip, a little help here!" he yelped. 

Jason clicked his tongue at the shortstop. "Francesca, the rocks go in the tank, not on the floor. Silly goose."

They both lifted the bag and dumped the rocks into the empty tank while Brantley explained. "Well, I was thinking about how we used to have the Rally Chicken, and then how much I miss having a pet in here. I stopped by Petco and it just so happened that they were having a dollar per gallon tank sale. I got this tank for ten dollars, and then bought the filter, a heater, the rocks, and some tribe decorations for the tank," he said, giving the two a smug smile.

When Francisco returned from throwing the now-empty bag away, he put his hands on his hips. "I think this idea might actually work," he said, brushing the rocks off of his shirt. 

Jason wasn't so sure. "Okay, so we've got the tank. Where's the fish?" he asked.

The outfielder gave him a cheeky grin. "We have to let the water filter for a full twenty-four hours before we can put a little fishy in. I wanted to get a goldfish and name him Jobu," he said, blushing slightly at the name from the famous Indians movie, Major League.

Jason was about to comment, but then Carrasco came into the clubhouse. He took one look at the fish tank, then Brantley, and booked it out of the room. Michael rolled his eyes and chased after the pitcher. "Come on, Cookie, I swear this idea won't burn your taste buds off!" 

With Brantley gone, Jason could only stare at the tank. "Did Tito approve of this?" he wondered out loud. He didn't know why, but he thought a fish was a bad idea. Considering he'd been to Michael's house and seen his skills with live plants, he didn't believe that the outfielder could keep anything alive and well. 

"I am sure Tito does not care what we do," Francisco pointed out. "At this point, a fish would be the least of his worries with us."

He hit Jason in the arm with his towel. "Now go change before I make fun of your crotch stain," he said, heading towards the door. 

Jason laughed. "Why you looking at my crotch, Francesca?" he asked, catching Lindor just as he got to the door. The shortstop stopped and looked back, attempting to keep a straight face as he said, "You did not zip."

Jason looked down, his face flushing and he quickly zipped his pants, rolling his eyes with a smile at Francisco's laughter that echoed down the hall. 

He looked at the tank with a sigh. Maybe this Jobu fish idea wasn't bad. Maybe for once, Brantley had a good idea. That's what he chose to believe as he grabbed his uniform and went to get dressed.


	2. Big Bullies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brant picks out the gimp goldfish for emotional reasons.

The pet store smelled like an old cat lady's house. Fish tanks of all shapes and sizes were on display to their right, while bigger tanks filled with schools of fish lined the wall.

Michael's eyes lit up the moment he saw all the tiny fish. He pushed past Francisco and Jason and then disappeared down an aisle. "If we don't want that fish to end up like Tickles from Finding Nemo, then we'd better make sure one of us takes the bag so that Brant doesn't turn into a Darla," Jason whispered to Francisco.

The shortstop gave a small smile. "Come on, Kip, he is just excited. Maybe a fish will be good for him. He will finally have someone to talk to," Francisco joked, nudging Jason in the ribs with his elbow.

When they rounded the corner, Kipnis nearly choked on his laughter. Michael was pressed against a tank filled with shimmering goldfish, lips pressed to the glass. "Maybe we don't need a fish, Francesca," Jason said, raising his eyebrows. "We can just put Brant in the tank and he can be an algae eater."

A tired-looking old lady came out of the double doors nearby with a net and a plastic bag. So  _t_ _hat_ is where the smell was coming from...

"What'll it be, hun?" she asked Brantley, not seeming to be phased by the grown man clinging to one of her fish tanks.

After a moment, Michael unstuck himself and said, "I don't know. I want them all. They're all so cute and chubby."

Francisco laughed. "Sounds like Kip, minus the 'cute' part," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at Jason. He was slightly offended. "I'll have you know, Francesca, that I was the most handsome boy at my school," Jason said, sticking his chin up high in pride and waiting for his friend's retort.

"There must not have been much competition," the shortstop muttered.

"Fight me," Jason said, putting up his fists and trying to keep a straight face when Francisco did a 'praying mantis' move.

Before one could tackle the other and they would probably end up breaking everything in Petco, the old lady coughed to get their attention. "Not in here," she snapped, pursing her lips.

With a sigh, they called a truce until they got to the parking lot. Suddenly, Michael straightened and pointed at a goldfish that was struggling to swim. It had clearly been in a fight recently because its fin was torn and it had a small, bloody hole in its scales.

Francisco and Jason shared a look. "Are you sure you want that one? It's a gimp," Jason asked.

Michael didn't take his eyes off of the hurt fish. "It's been bullied. He'll do a lot better away from all these meanies," he said, looking sad.

Francisco patted Michael's shoulder. "Okay. We'll take that one," he said to the lady.

The old woman put the goldfish in a bag and handed it to Brant. Kip feared that Michael would get too excited and shake the bag. He was surprised when Michael held the bag carefully, one hand on the bottom and the other resting firmly on the top.

That night after the game, Jason was coming out of the showers when he heard someone talking in the clubhouse. He thought everyone had left already. He stopped and listened.

"No one will ever be mean to you again," they said. Brant. He must be talking to the fish. Jason rolled his eyes, but pressed his back to the brick wall out of Brantley's view.

"I've been bullied too. I know how you feel. I promise that I'm going to take care of you. I wish someone would've done the same for me," Brantley said, his voice echoing off the walls.

Kip suddenly became alert at the sadness in Michael's statement. He stepped forward and out of the shower room. Michael looked up from where he was knelt in front of the tank. His face turned bright red and he scramble to his feet. "I was...just saying goodnight to Jobu," he said, not meeting Jason's eyes.

"Brant-" Jason started, but the outfielder had already grabbed his duffel bag from the floor and practically sprinted out of the room. 

Kip sighed, his gaze drifting to the fish tank. Jobu was struggling his way around the tiki in the center. Jason leaned down, and it was like the fish met his eyes. He stared for a moment before he said, "Take care of him. He needs you."

He grabbed his things and went to leave, casting one last glance at the fish tank before turning off the lights and heading out the door.


	3. Drones and Moans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bauer always ends up ruining everything with his stupid drone.

It didn't take long for the guys to grow fond of the little goldfish that waddled its way through the tank. Kipnis had to admit that even though he had the distinct feeling that something bad was going to happen, Jobu was a pretty good pet. "I've gotta hand it to you, Brant," he said as Michael dropped a few goldfish flakes into the tank. "You didn't pick the most annoying pet ever."

Brantley stood up straight and gave Kipnis a grin. "Well, yeah, we've already got you, we don't need another annoying animal running around here," Kluber said as he laced up his cleats. Kipnis turned to say something to the pitcher about just who was the wild animal, when Trevor Bauer came running in with a giant box in his arms. "Look what I got!" he said excitedly, placing the box on the bench and tugging at the tape concealing whatever weird item Bauer had decided to waste his money on.

"Please do not tell me it is another drone," Francisco said as he returned from the bathroom. He reached down to tug up his red and navy blue high socks as he looked at the pitcher curiously.

"Well, you're in luck, Frankie! That's exactly what it is!" he said cheerfully, and pulled out a black drone from the box. Everyone in the locker room groaned and turned away with disinterest. "Trev, didn't you break the other one when you tried chasing Yan with it?" Naquin asked, crossing his arms.

Gomes averted his eyes and murmured, "I still have nightmares. And scars."

He shuddered before he returned to playing Clash of Clans on his phone. Bauer rolled his eyes, and said, "Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad. You still have your thumb."

Then, he waited for Brantley to leave the room to go get changed into his uniform before saying, "Okay, so I had the best idea. I figured it must get kinda boring in that tank for Jobu. I mean, the poor fish has barely had any action in his life. So...why don't we give him a little...joy ride?" 

He gestured to the drone with an eager smile. Francisco's eyes widened. "I do not know, Trev. If something happens to that fish, it will destroy Michael," he pointed out. Kipnis nodded. "Francesca has a point, though I will say those socks are not on point," he said, making the shortstop stick his tongue at him. "You wish you had my style," his friend said, nudging Kip with his elbow.

Bauer groaned. "Come on!" he said. "We can put him in a bag with water and tie it to the bottom! It'll be as easy as flying a kite!"

"I'm not agreeing to it," Kip said with a shrug, and then Francisco nodded in agreement. 

Trevor sighed. "Fine, you party poopers," he said with a huff, and stalked to the fish tank. "I'll do it myself. You're free to come watch."

He scooped Jobu into a plastic bag and sealed it before walking out of the locker room to the dugout. Kip exchanged a look with Lindor. "I will get Brant," the shortstop said. Kip nodded. "I'll make sure Jobu doesn't die an extremely horrible death."

*****************

When Kipnis found Bauer, he was putting batteries in the remote control for the drone. "You change your mind?" Trevor asked with a smile as he stuck the final battery in. Jason shook his head. "No, just supervising," he said with a shrug, and sat beside the pitcher.

"Alright, Jobu, we're ready to fly!" he announced, and turned on the drone. The wings started to spin, making a humming sound as the drone lifted off the ground. Jobu floated around in the bag that was dangling from the device. The drone flew higher and higher into the sky, and spun towards the scoreboard in center field. "Uh, Trev," Kipnis said uneasily. "Don't you think you should steer it away from the scoreboard?"

"Right," the pitcher said, staring down at his controller. "I should probably do that. Except the controller...it's not letting me turn it."

Jason glared at him. "Well, make it stop! You're gonna take out the sign and kill Jobu and then we're going to have more than one crying baby to deal with!" he exclaimed.

"I'm trying, geez!" Trevor said. Brantley came running up beside them, his face red with anger. Francisco followed close behind. "Where the heck is Jobu?" he demanded. Trevor pointed to the drone that was heading closer and closer to the electronic scoreboard.

"Make it stop!" Francisco yelled. Trevor glanced at his controller. "Okay. I think I've got it," he said, and pressed a button. The drone's wings stopped spinning, and it began to fall down towards the ground. "Jobu!" Brantley cried, and ran towards the falling drone. 

Kipnis glanced down at where the drone was heading, and noticed it was going right at Cookie, who was jogging the foul poles. "Cookie!" he screamed. The pitcher looked up. "Wha-" he began, but then the drone hit him in the head, and he collapsed to the ground.

Trevor started cracking up while the rest of the group ran out to meet the pitcher. "Cookie? Buddy?" Kip asked, tapping his friend's cheek. The pitcher opened his eyes. "Speak to us, Cook," Francisco said. Michael frowned, looking around them. "Where's Jobu?" he asked with a frown.

Cookie suddenly moaned something. "What was that? You need a trainer?" Kip asked. Cookie shook his head. "Def fith ith n m muth," he mumbled. Francisco frowned. "The fifth is going south?" he asked. Cookie shook his head and opened his mouth. Inside, they could see a tail flopping around. "Jesus, Cookie, why didn't I notice you had a tail for a tongue before?" Kipnis asked. Cookie glared at him, and then Brantley's eyes widened. "Jobu! He's in his mouth! Hang in there, buddy, we'll get you out!"

Brantley looked to Francisco with worry in his eyes. "Will you go get cup of water? Please, Frankie?" Tears had welled in his eyes, and Francisco nodded, getting up and only glancing back once before sprinting to get what they needed.

"Let me talk to him," Brantley sobbed, and Kip moved over to let Michael have room. "It'll be okay, Jobu. We'll get you back in your tank soon. I won't ever let Trevor hurt you ever again, because I plan on killing him when I get you back in the tank. Hang in there, little guy," he murmured. Kipnis chuckled and looked down at Cookie. "Yeah, hang in there, little guy."

Cookie socked him in the ribs, but it didn't stop Jason from laughing.

Lindor returned with the cup of water. "Alright, Cookie, you can-" Francisco began, but the pitcher spat the fish out of his mouth immediately. Brantley cheered and looked down at the goldfish in delight. The fish didn't look phased by the trauma it had just endured. 

Cookie was breathing hard and spitting onto the grass. "You did good, Cook. You did good," Kip said, patting him on the back. 

The pitcher coughed before saying, "You promised...this one wouldn't...burn my taste buds...off," he finally managed, before collapsing onto his back again. 


End file.
